Should your counsellor be helping you with more than the here and now?


Do you feel as though you spend your life going from one problem to the next?

If you do, you are not alone. A lot of people feel as though the problems they face are never-ending and that they are responding to them in the same way throughout their lives. This can make life extremely draining. If you find yourself feeling drained or exhausted by life, it may be a sign that you should be looking for a counsellor who will work with you on more than just the here and now.  

Should your counsellor be helping you with more than the here and now? 1

Have you been struggling for a long time?

Perhaps you remember struggling a lot with your GCSEs, with your friendships at school or family relationships when you were young. Suppose then that you experienced similar struggles when you went on to college or an apprenticeship. And maybe you find yourself feeling a similar way now in your adult life and your adult relationships as you did when you were younger.

If you can relate to this, there may be a pattern in the way you respond. By talking things through with an experienced counsellor, you will gain clarity on your pattern and start to explore it. A skilled counsellor will ask you about how you react to difficult situations, when this way of responding began and (importantly), help you recognise the possible reasons why.

Once you understand what has caused the patterns in your life you can start to reflect on how this way of responding has impacted on you in the past, currently impacts on you, and may impact on your future.

Should your counsellor be helping you with more than the here and now? 2

Your counsellor can help you learn new ways of coping with difficult situations and help shape a future where you are more in control.

Instead of impulsively reacting to difficult situations, you will learn how to respond in a way which is compassionate towards yourself and helps lesson the negative emotional impact difficult situations have.

When you work with a counsellor who looks beyond the here and now, you are not only helped through the difficulty which led you to counselling, but you reduce the likelihood of needing counselling again in the future. You become more aware, more equipped, and more capable of dealing with all the curve balls that life throws at you.

Life will always present you with difficult situations, but with the help of a skilled expert, you can learn to live life differently. Instead of jumping from one crisis to the next, experiencing high distress whenever a difficult situation comes along, you can become calmer in the face of difficulty (and over time) achieve greater contentment.

Should your counsellor be helping you with more than the here and now? 3
Should your counsellor be helping you with more than the here and now? 4

Not all counsellors focus on the bigger picture.

Sometimes counsellors focus on solutions and the here and now without taking a deeper look at the patterns that are going on. This could be because they are limited to only a few sessions with you, or it could be due to the way they were trained. This kind of therapy can be enough for some people; they can take the techniques they learn and apply them throughout their later life.

But for others, these techniques are not enough to prevent them suffering the next time a difficulty comes along. There is no shame in being the second type of person, it just means a different approach is required. If you are someone who identifies as the second type of person, it is important that your counsellor works with you in ways which go beyond the here and now.

I am proud to say that I offer my clients the best of both worlds.

I am trained in CBT, which is a highly solution-focused and technique driven method of counselling. So, I can help my clients cope better with what is happening right now. But I am also skilled in other methods which take a deeper look at what is going on. I use a combination of methods to help my clients achieve a greater sense of wellbeing now, and in the future.

It is important to me that my clients leave counselling more prepared for life’s challenges than when they first began. Ideally, my clients would finish counselling with me, and I would never see them again. This isn’t because I don’t care (I do very much); but because they would have no need to return.

If you would like to discuss how counselling could help you overcome the issues you are facing right now (or those you may face in the future), then get in touch with me today.

You can send me an email at: or drop me a message at: 07588 117305

I look forward to hearing from you,


Previous Post
What different counselling methods mean for you.
Next Post
Why you should make loving YOURSELF a priority this February (even if you are in a relationship).

Related Posts

No results found.